The dentist. Need I say more?

I have needed to go the dentist for some time now for various teeth.  The problem is I am terrified of going.  Of being there.  Of having the work done.  I always have been.  I probably always will be. 

Now.

I finally went for a tooth that was becoming serious.  I was running a fever and having quite a bit of pain.  So I guess it was time.

The only thing is, I waited too long.

By the time I got in there I had an abscess down by the root.  A root canal was inevitable.  bleh

I got my ipod out and prepared as best I could.

I should have prepared more.

The dentist gave my the first round of shots.  We waited.  After an appropriate amount of time he began his business.  I felt everything he was doing and started freaking out.  I was just hoping that I was projecting my fear and it really was numb. 

He set up the little tent thing over my mouth and brought the drill down.  Let me just say that I abhor that drill.  It can almost make me wet my pants just hearing it.  He lowered the drill, turned it on and made contact with my tooth.

The pain was unimaginable.  My tooth was not numb.  At all.

He stopped.  Gave me more shots.  We waited.

He tried again.  More pain.

By this time my legs are trembling and quivering uncontrollably.  It was pretty embarrassing but I couldn't help it.  Between the fear and the pain I was a goner.

He gave me more shots and waited even longer.

He finally came back in and checked me.  It still wasn't numb.  He looked at me and said, "We have to get that infection out of there and the only way is to drill down and open up that root."

So not what I wanted to hear. 

I nodded.  Opened my mouth.  I begged God for help.

It hurt so stinkin' bad.  I couldn't do anything about it.  I tried not to flinch or bite him.  Thankfully I succeeded in not biting him.  Although I thought about it as a sort of payback...

He would pause and give me breaks but pushed on to relieve the infection.  Finally he made it down to the root and the extreme pain and pressure was relieved. 

I was still shaking though.

I made it the rest of the way through the appointment without crying, cursing, or passing out.  I'm not sure how though.

I scheduled the next appointment, smiled at the nice lady who had no clue that I was in mortal pain, and was scarred psychologically, walked to my car then collapsed in tears.  I called Steven and sobbed into the phone.  Poor guy had no idea what to do for me! lol  He let me cry for a bit but since I had started driving he insisted that I hang up and concentrate.  Silly man!


I made it home and went to bed the rest of the day.

The infection was still making me feel feverish and achy so I took it easy for a few days. 

I have to go back.  I don't want to.  But I have to.

I'm already starting to panic about it.

I will pray and ask Jesus to help me through.  I might also take some drugs and demand that Steven drive me there and back! lol