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Friday, December 11, 2015

Pain in the Offering

"It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:17


Oh this verse has settled on my heart and mind. I would like to say that I embrace what it is saying and that I can see the Truth in it; but, I am honestly not completely there. The phrase 'No good deed goes unpunished' seems to be more of a truth in my life. I know that isn't the ultimate Truth but feelings being what they are...

This last year has been full of ups and downs. I had thought to keep up the blog better but in truth I just couldn't write about it. I couldn't face my own heart honestly enough to write it out for the inspection of others.


I am not sure I can even now, but it is time.

God has been so incredibly good to us that I can not even fathom it sometimes. He is a tender Father who has held us as we cried. And there have been many tears this year. Our family has suffered for doing good. Our family has grown and changed in ways we didn't know we needed to and ways we never even thought about before Bug.


Bug was the catalyst for putting our faith into action. It is easy to say that you follow the teachings of Jesus and another thing altogether to do them. Oh, there are multiple small ways to walk out your faith in every day life that hardly cost you anything. You can feel good about doing what Jesus would do and never feel uncomfortable or stretched beyond your box. Living a righteous life one small sacrifice at a time.

Only, that is not really living. Or following Jesus. Oh, I am not saying that the small sacrifices aren't important and worth the effort and I am not saying we shouldn't make them. Small sacrifices can be big to the one in need and can bring blessings to the one sacrificing. But, small sacrifices don't usually make us change. Small sacrifices can still keep us safe.

When the time comes for God to ask a big sacrifice from you, what will you say? Will you hesitate? Will you say No? Will you think about it so long that it is no longer a necessary sacrifice? Or will you say Yes right away and trust God for the outcome?

Waxing poetical is easy to do at this point. The point of just wondering what you will do if called to make a big sacrifice but honestly, we don't really know what we will do until we are called to choose. Grand ideas tend to pale in the light of real life full of real pain.

You never really know how you will respond until someone looks at you and asks, "Will you?" That is the moment of truth and of deciding. It is a moment that can alter your life forever one way or another.

Our family had just such a choice to make five years ago. We were asked to make a large sacrifice-our entire family. It wasn't a one-time sacrifice but a day to day laying down our lives to the Will of God. A daily sacrifice. A daily offering of ourselves to something other than our own plans.

I am so proud of my family for saying Yes to this sacrifice. Not a one of them had to even think about it, they instantly knew it was the right thing to do. They knew this sacrifice would be an offering of praise to God for His provision for our family and for His love for us.

We also knew there would be pain in the offering. We just couldn't imagine how much pain.

Loving Bug was amazing and something we wouldn't change for anything but it also proved to be the hardest sacrifice we have ever made. She became our daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, and friend and our lives were irrevocably changed because of her. We loved her with abandon, giving our hearts fully to her. She took root in our lives until there was no separating her without tearing holes in each of us.

Yet, that is the sacrifice we were called to make. She was never fully ours but we were called to love her in just that way. To love her fully and without reserve. To give her our hearts and our love freely.

Then let her go.

I can't even type those words without tears. Six years ago if someone had told me I would survive losing a child I would have balked; I would have laughed at them and told them No way. But, now I am living it and surviving. I am living each day with the memory of my daughter driving away in someone else's car knowing she was never coming back. I live with the pain my other daughters' eyes as they mourn their sister and the pain in my husband's heart at not being able to protect one of his daughters any longer.

Every day there is a reminder of our missing family member and every day we are reminded of the sacrifice we were called to make. I can't begin to tell you the pain in my heart at losing Bug. I can't tell you because I can't fully face it. It would completely consume me and incapacitate me.

But that pain is only there because the love is that deep. I would break my heart a thousand times for Bug if that is what God asked of me and rejoice in the pain of the offering.

Love requires sacrifice.

Real love is giving up what you want so the other person gets what they need.

It is easy enough to say that you really do love someone until you have to sacrifice for them. Then the rubber meets the road and decisions have to be made. Will you love them enough to break your heart if need be?

Love is not self-seeking.

Love is hard and love is painful.

Love is always worth it.

My Baby Girl, you are always in my thoughts and will always be my daughter. I love you.


Friday, June 19, 2015


I had thought I was going to do a better job of keeping up with my blog but Bug keeps me crazy busy on top of the four other girls in the house! We had a great spring soccer season with me coaching. Ok, not that it was great because I was was great because of the girls and my co-coach! I need to do some posts about that.

For now, we are focusing on the changes that are coming. Bug will be leaving us in a few months for good. Her grandparents are taking her back full-time. We are coming to terms with it but it is difficult. God called us to love her for a short while and now it seems that that time has come to an end.

God is good all the time adn we know He is in control of this situation. We are trusting that He will work this our for her good and for ours in the long run.

In the meanwhile here are some pics to enjoy!



Old Fashioned DVD Review and Giveaway

A romantic-drama, OLD FASHIONED centers on Clay Walsh, a former frat boy who gives up his reckless carousing and now runs an antique shop in a small Midwestern college town. There, he has become notorious for his lofty and outdated theories on love and romance as well as for his devout belief in God. When Amber Hewson, a free-spirited young woman with a restless soul, drifts into the area and rents the apartment above his shop, she finds herself surprisingly drawn to his strong faith and noble ideas, which are new and intriguing to her. And Clay, though he tries to fight and deny it, simply cannot resist being attracted to her spontaneous and passionate embrace of life. Ultimately, Clay must step out from behind his relational theories and Amber must overcome her own fears and deep wounds as the two of them, together, attempt the impossible: an "old-fashioned" and God-honoring courtship in contemporary America.

About the movie:

DVD Releases on June 16, 2015

115 minutes // Genre: Drama // Rating PG-13



My take on this movie. I honestly thought it would another trite Christian movie where everything was perfect and the Christian was bland. We all know that the Christian life is hard and can get messy sometimes. We all make mistakes and how we handle them says more about us than always doing the right thing.

So, when we popped this movie in I was not expecting what we saw. The movie is centered around Clay and how he is handling his past mistakes.They aren't brushed over and they aren't made light of because of his faith. He has consequences and those affect others around him. His love interest has a past as well and she has to come to terms with them in light of her growing relationship with Clay.

I don't want to give anything away; but, the grittiness of this movie surprised me. The characters are real with real problems dealing with them in a real way. Did I use the word real enough? We were honestly surprised by the honesty in this movie. It was very enjoyable and one I want my daughters to watch. The lessons learned on dating/courting, male/female relationships, and mistakes in our youth are invaluable.

I recommend this movie to all young people and their parents as a great way to get conversations going.

Check out these social media sites and don't forget to watch the trailer!

S O C I A L • C O R N E R

Official Website -


Twitter: @OldFashionedVow


Official Website to Purchase:||

**This Giveaway is a little different. I will not draw a name until the next Review of the Book and Devotional! So, by waiting you get a better prize!**

Leave a comment telling me your favorite date night! Don't forget to leave an email addy for me!

"Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

Friday, June 5, 2015

Michael W. Smith Sovereign

Michael W Smith is coming out with a new album and he has a video to go with it! You should check it out. Oh yeah, I will have a review coming very soon.

Here’s a quote from MWS on the video:

"I’m really passionate about the song SKY SPILLS OVER. It was fun creating it in the studio and I’ve been overwhelmed at the response it gets when we perform it live every night. My son Ryan is a really talented filmmaker so I always enjoy working with him on a project. But what made this project even more special was that 3 of my own grandkids were in the video. This video was a lot of fun to make. I hope people enjoy it!"

Watch the video HERE

Hillsong United Empires Review

I was extremely excited to get this CD in the mail. We have long loved Hillsong and their contribution to the music industry and the Praise and Worship genre. Many of their songs have become favorites in our household. When this CD came, I instantly opened it and put it in the player. Unfortunately I was disappointed. This album is simply not my forte. I know many other people who have loved it and are raving about it. I am simply not one of them.


I highly recommend checking the links out and seeing for yourself if this album strikes your fancy. Hillsong is a fantastic contributor to the Christian music industry and I look forward to their next project. I know their heart is to lead people in worship and their lyrics do just that by pointing us back to God. That in and of itself is precious.


About Hillsong United:

UNITED is committed to writing songs that speak truth, create a unique sound, connect with churches, individuals and ultimately connect people everywhere with God. UNITED serve in church as a part of the wider Hillsong Worship and Creative team when they are home. When on tour, they are accompanied by the whole Hillsong team’s support and prayers that their ministry would arrest hearts and point people to Jesus, impacting individuals, local youth groups and local churches.

S O C I A L • C O R N E R (brace yourselves, they are social musicians ;)

Twitter: @HillsongUnited

Instagram: @HillsongUnited


Check them out on tour this summer:

Honorable Mention:

- Here’s a video of their performance on the TODAY show in case you missed it last month:

Official website:

Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.