Okay, the evening was supposed to be a smooth, fun, night of watching soccer with my oldest. We found out that a local high school girls' soccer team was ranked 2nd in the state and they were playing Tuesday night.
We decided to go pretty quickly. Everybody else, not so much. The four other kids decided to stay home and watch movies.
The two of us left early bc there is construction on nearly every street corner in our neck of the city. I was pretty sure of where we were going but didn't want to be late. Not that it would have been that big of deal but I wanted to see all of the game.
We arrived 40 minutes early! hahaha We got a great parking spot, though. Sitting in our fabulous parking spot we decided to surf facebook. Of course! I checked email, we read our books, sang to the radio, and laughed at silly things that no one else would understand.
That is until my dd looked over at me with her eyes getting wider by the second. She looked up just above my head and said words that strike fear into my heart deeper than if someone was trying to mug me. "Mom, there is a spider above your head."
Not so nice words ran through my mind. I did not, however, say any of them out loud. I'm pretty proud of myself for that one. I did shriek, I think, and start leaning away from it. I was still buckled in my seat belt, though and couldn't move very far. I pulled on the seat while leaning far over into the empty space between the front seats while repeating, "Oh dear God, oh dear God, get me away." At this point my lovely and supportive daughter started laughing at me. She did. I might have yelled at her to help me but I think I was really just pleading for help. "Please get me out of here. Kill it." She argued for a moment telling me that she couldn't reach it. That is soo not what I wanted to hear. "TAKE YOUR SHOE OFF AND KILL THAT THING." This was said in a guttural scream while I crawled out from under the steering wheel backwards while keeping my eyes on the vicious spider. I climbed over the cubby thing in between the seats working my way over to her seat. She was mean enough to keep laughing while not letting me sit on her lap. I kept on though and made it all the way over onto her lap while she somehow pulled her shoe off one handed. She should get some kind of super hero status for how she lifted me off of her lap while simultaneously leaning all the way over to the other side of the car and killing the carnivorous spider on the top of the door jamb. I might or might not have been chanting, "Kill it. Don't let it get away. Smash it, please. Don't let it fall."
She managed to smash it to smithereens so it couldn't spring back to life and attack me while I was driving. I didn't quite make it all the way back to my side of the car until it was time to get out. When we were ready to get out of the car, I got everything ready, pushed open the door and screamed while bursting out of the car. No way was any of that flesh eating spider going to fall on me, nest in my hair and kill me in my sleep. Not gonna happen.
I am glad to say that I survived and even managed to drive home without freaking out about the carnage on the ceiling right above my head. I'm pretty proud of myself all the way around! lol