I have always had very vivid dreams. I can remember dreams that I have had as far back as seven or eight years old. Some of them good and some of them not so good. Generally though they are almost always very real.
This is still holding true. Last month I had a dream that was so vivid that I would have sworn it happened in real life. It touched my soul and came at a time that I desperately needed it.
In my dream, I was searching for Steven and the girls. We had been separated for quite some time and I was lost in a large office building. The building was deserted and was completely silent. The lights in the building were all on but it was eerily quiet.
I started walking through the building looking for my family, slowly at first. I was sure I would find them quickly and so I was not worried about it. However, after the first few offices were found empty I started feeling a little panicky. I searched the entire first floor of the building and found no one. Not one trace of life. I was utterly alone.
I decided to move on to the second floor, sure that I would find someone. By the end of the second floor search, I was beginning to feel desperate. I didn't know what else to do so I kept searching. I looked in every room, calling out for my family. Utter loneliness and hopelessness started to take over and I thought of giving up the search.
I continued to search, crying out for them for several more floors before giving in to despair. I wondered the hall of the last floor I had the courage to search, just walking up and down the hall. Despair overtook me as I opened the final door I had the heart to.
When I opened this door I could instantly tell it was different. The light in this room was warm and inviting. The air was alive and I could tell that someone was in this room. When I opened the door completely, I was met with a man.
This man was warm and inviting. His smile encompassed his entire face and peace radiated off of him. His eyes were ablaze with love and welcome. He brought his eyes to mine and I couldn't help but sigh. I hadn't found my family but I had found what I was really searching for.
I fell into the arms of this man as he called out to me. "Renita, come here." The sound of his voice brought even more peace as he held his arms out to me. "Stop searching and come here." His arm enveloped me and I fell to pieces there. He held me up as I cried and my knees buckled under the weight of my grief.
He continued to hold me and let me cry it out. After some time my tears started to dry up and I pulled back to look him in the eye. In his eyes, I saw love and acceptance but also something else. I saw hope.
I stared into the face of Jesus and felt such peace and love that I was overcome with my guilt. I couldn't look at him anymore. I couldn't let Him see how unworthy I truly was. I tried to hide my face from Him and get away from Him. He wouldn't let me go. He wrapped one hand around my wrist and put the other under my chin, pushing it upward; forcing me to look at him. "Renita, I love you and I already know everything. Let me in."
I was overcome with His love and jumped into His arms again. I held on tight to my Savior, thankful for His love. He let me stay in His arms as long as I needed to and then released me. "Stop searching everywhere else for what you want, come to me and let me give you everything you need."
I realized then that what I was truly searching for was right in front of me. He was what I was searching for and just couldn't see it. Jesus had met me where I was and gave me what I needed. Again.
I left His arms filled with peace, knowing that I had what I needed. I took the elevator down to the first floor, walked out of the building into the arms of my family.
The dream ended there but when I woke up I was still filled with peace and felt like I had really just been held in the arms of Jesus. I can still feel His arms around me and His peace surrounding me.
What a beautiful gift from a God who knows me better than I know myself.