Voices

We all have voices that we listen to.  They can be our parents, friends, relatives, or even strangers.  We can hear their words and forget them or we can hear them, take them into our hearts and then they become the voices in our heads.  The voices that talk to us in a continuous stream every day.  

The voices that play in my head are all the negatives ones I have heard over the years. Right or wrong, they are the voices I hear.

Words like slob, ugly, loser, unqualified, disorganized, fat, mean, petty, cold-hearted, hypocritical, and so many more.

I can pretend that those words don’t affect me and I can bolster my courage and pretend that I don’t care what others think of me; but the truth is I do care. Each and every word-unkind or kind, is remembered and played thousands of times in my head every day.

I take them into my heart and they become part of me, of who I am. Those labels become my identity. They change me in small ways that forever alters what I see when I look at myself. And when I think about who I am. Words have the power of life and death.

Words don’t even need to be spoken. It can come in the form of gossip and non-confrontational behavior. If someone has a problem with me or something I have done but doesn’t even respect me enough to talk to me about it-what does that say? That I am not worth talking to and working out the situation. That voice is on a constant loop. This is an almost constant occurrence in my life. People would rather talk about me and the problem to others rather than me. I am too irrational to have a conversation with. I am too opinionated and talk too much. Yeah, I have heard all of it.

I hear it in my head every day. When situations pop up, the voices chime in and let me know exactly what others have said. It never ends. It is crippling at times. The fear of failure is so great that I would rather do nothing and see no one so that I wouldn’t disappoint or upset anyone.

I have to fight these voices every day.  Sometimes every moment.  They lie.  The feed my doubt and my fear until it is a living, breathing thing.  But fear is a liar.  Doubt is a trap that has sticky sides so you can't get out and an easy chair in it so you don't want to.  It is easier to stay in the fear and doubt than to fight your way out.

But fight you must.  

Knowing what God says about you is a must.  He is the author of your life and only He can tell you who you are and who He created you to be.  He is the Light and the Hand reaching into the darkness.  He is also the Friend that sits with you while you cry giving Comfort and Strength to go on.  

Every day the battle wages and every day we must fight.