Does it matter who it comes from or why you were rejected? Does it matter if you understand why you were rejected?
Does it change the way you think about yourself?
I have been grappling with these thoughts for the last week or so. You see, I was rejected for something that I wanted very badly. I thought that I was the perfect candidate for the 'job' and then they chose someone else.
Ouch. That didn't feel good at all. What made it harder was that I didn't/don't understand why I was not chosen. I thought that I had the qualifications and the desire to fulfill the responsibilities; evidently, they did not.
Ouch, again.
Why is it that when someone 'rejects' us, we let it change what we believe about ourselves? Mind you, I am not saying that we should think higher of ourselves than we ought, I am just saying that you start believing that you are not good enough anymore.
I am struggling with this. I 'think' that I know my strengths and weaknesses and how to overcome them -mostly-, then get shot down. I start questioning my abilities and even my opinions about things.
I don't like to admit it, but what I think about myself largely depends on what others think of me. Sad, but true. I know that it is wrong and I know that I should only look to Christ for my identity; BUT, my flesh cries out to be honored by others here on Earth. I want others to think that I am worthy of their respect and that I am smart, funny, pretty, etc.
How do I reconcile this with my faith? I cannot. It will not. It should not.
It is a flaw in my own heart that drives me to want others to think well of me. It is not one I am proud of and it is not one that is easily done away with. My old self craves the approval of those around me and demands to be fed at the cost of my heart and my relationship with the Jesus.
My focus should not be, 'Why didn't they like me or think that I was good enough' it should be facing the Cross and asking the Lord what He thinks of me.
Only His opinion should matter.
2 comments:
You've hit it right on the mark. Why do our feelings not get in line with what we know in our minds to be true? Sometimes it takes a while for our feelings to catch up to the truth.
I struggle with the same feelings sometimes and I've usually discovered that I add to the situation by assuming a lot about what others think. (I am very good at thinking of all kinds of reasons why people probably don't like me!)
Standing next to you at the foot of the Cross,
Amy
Great post. Honestly, it might have seemed right to you, but God may have other plans for you and you just haven't seen those unfold yet....
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