Our homeschool was supposed to be on Christmas break this last week all the way through Jan. 3. That's not happening.
Momma ain't happy either.
Why are we not being blessed with a break after a grueling semester? Um...let's see. It's called life lessons. For the kids and for the parents. These lessons have not been easy on any of us. In fact they have been downright painful.
It started with one child cheating on a test and then moved on to three children lying about filling out their planners and doing their work. It was a rude awakening for all of us.
It has been devastating for the whole family. Now mind you, we know that these lessons are better learned while they are at home; I wish that these particular lessons didn't have to be learned the hard way. Trust has been broken on both sides. My failings and shortcomings have been made abundantly clear and have caused me to doubt whether I am cut out for homeschooling. Am I doing a disservice to the kids by homeschooling when I fail so many times? How can I be a role model to them when I am clearly not doing the things that I should be. Should I keep homeschooling when I am not particularly liking my children right now?
These are the questions that have been swirling around my head toward the tail end of this semester. It hasn't been great. I am really questioning my effectiveness at this point. And sometimes my sanity!
Am I going to quit homeschooling? No. I truly feel that God called us to homeschool and we will continue by His grace and His grace alone. We are just going to do it a little differently for a while. Gone are the days of letting them roam the house to do school on their own. Gone too are the days of going several days without checking work to keep them accountable. Our school days look different now and aren't quite as care-free.
All of the children must do their work in my presence and their work must be checked as soon as they are done with it. There is no waiting until later to do work, now is the time. There are no excuses no free passes and no more nice momma/teacher. Is this making me happy? Nope. I am lots more cranky after a day of having four students sitting beside me or at my feet constantly complaining about having to sit beside me or be at my feet! There are multiple complaints of 'why can't you just trust me?' or 'I really hate this.'
Like I said, painful life lessons for everyone. I have learned to be more of a teacher and less of a mom. I have also learned to admit my failings with a little less pride and a little more humbleness. To ask for help and admit when I'm wrong. To let my kids suffer the consequences even when it hurts my heart and I want to rescue them. To understand that these lessons are better learned while they are in the safety of our home and we can guide them back to the right path. To trust God's plan for their lives and to guide them to Him for counsel, wisdom, love, understanding, and guidance.
So, no Christmas break because said children are catching up on the work they were supposed to be doing and momma is retraining herself to be more diligent and just a little meaner!
2 comments:
We're working on a few life lessons at home right now as well. Some freedom has been taken away which means that mom has also lost a bit of freedom.
{{{Renita}}}
I've been in your shoes. Honestly. Nearly exact as far as I can tell. We made a lot of changes too....like you I was glad it was caught earlier than later.
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