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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Not again...

An interesting phenomenon has been occurring in my house for the last several years and I wasn't completely aware of it until today.

It was a normal Sunday in our house, we were just being lazy and messing around when I noticed it.

I wasn't too alarmed at first. I assumed that I was missing something. It has been known to happen. So, I looked around a little bit longer and decided that I had not missed anything, they really were missing.


I immediately asked my 9yo dd if she knew where they were.

"Who me? I don't know where they are. I haven't seen them in a while."

Yeah right.

"Go and get your sisters. I want them found, now." I replied very calmly. (okay, I was not calm, I was very perturbed and my voice might even have been a little louder than usual.)

I kept looking, thinking that I couldn't really be missing them and they were surely around somewhere. I mean, seriously, where could they go? They could not walk away on their own. I know this because when they are dirty they can sit around for a *very* long time.

The other girls came in about the time that I was really losing it and I might have said something like, "If those are not found this instant, there will be no more eating in this house, ever."

I was met with wide eyes and blank stares. There was also an amazing amount of, "We don't know where they are. Honest, mommy."

There was also a chorus of, "Maybe, they were put here or there. I will go check for them."

Then there was the sound of running feet throughout the house.

As I was standing in my kitchen, I was met with the patient gaze of my loving but completely unsympathetic husband. "Now honey, you know you can't not feed them! They will eventually have to be fed."

I was fine listening to him until he smirked. All bets were off then. If they were not found, then I would go on strike.

After all, if they could not even keep track of these little items, why should I have to cook? It sounded plausible in my head at the time. ;)

Moments later, the children all came back and all they had to show for themselves was one little find. AND it was DIRTY!!!


Now, either I am never feeding them again or I am never cooking again. Why can't I learn to keep my mouth shut? Do I really have to say *everything* that comes into my head? Actually, yes I think that I must. I might explode if I wasn't allowed to expel the thoughts that fly through my mind.

Anyway, as I met the worried stares of my offspring I had a choice to make. Was I really going to go through with my threats or was I going to just ignore the wanton disregard for these lost items?

I decided to do something different because another thought popped into my head and out of my mouth before I was able to shut it.

"Fine, don't find them; but, I am not buying any more and you can just figure out what to do without them." I said as I turned smugly around and served my self some soup.

By now, the children and my husband all think that I have gone insane, and they are probably right. But the thing is, this has happened before. It happened with the same items a few years ago and then it happened just last year with another item.

Now, my question is this. How can a family lose EIGHT BOWLS?????

Yes, that is right. My family lost 8 bowls. I'm sorry, 6 bowls. They found one and I found one. Throw them a party.

I am not talking make believe bowls or bowls that are for dolls, I am talking cereal bowls here. Real full sized bowls.

How does that happen?

Well, the last time this phenomenon occurred, I found them outside with the dog and the mud. Yeah. Those were the good bowls that I had found and I loved them. (if you know me at all, you know I have an obsession with dishes) They disappeared slowly and so I didn't notice it right away.

Today, however, it happened all at once and since no one in my house knows where they are I am calling it a true X-files moment.

I may even call Ripley's about it tomorrow. ;)


chillywilly said...

did you check outside with the dog? It's been to cold fo mud playing. did you check the stove and the bathrooms? hahahahahahaha

Donna said...

This is so funny! I couldn't imagine what had been lost. lol. I was missing a big suitcase awhile back. Couldn't imagine how anyone could lose a suitcase! Months later I realized I'd never bought it. ::sigh::

Hope your bowls show up soon. Be sure to let us know where they were. Pictures would be nice. :)

momma24 said...

Donna, I have done that too! It is so embarrassing to realize that you never bought the thing you were searching for!

I will work on the pictures!

Wild Homeschool Family said...

hilarious post!

Kristine said...

Hilarious post! I try not to count things (although I couldn't help but notice if my bowls were missing!). Trevor often counts them when he's unloading the dishwaher, reporting when something is missing. It drives me nuts, it's not like they would really go far. :)