I have been so bad about keeping the blog up lately and I have been struggling to understand why. It's not that there isn't a lot going on at our house. On the contrary, there is a ton happening but still I can't seem to blog about it.
I have been thinking about it and here is what I have figured out. I am not blogging because I can't. What I mean is anytime I share something on MY blog about MY family I hear backlash from people I know in real life. If I blog about how much I love our church I hear how I hate our old church and how I am saying bad things about it. If I post about the theater group I work with I am bagging on a different theater group or I am jealous of different groups. If I blog about the difficult times in the last year for my family then I am gossiping or saying bad things about others and being hurtful to them(don't even talk about how they are talking about us and being hurtful to us). If I blog about our family being sick or hurt I hear that no other family on the entire planet ever gets hurt or sick and we are the only family in the history of ever to have that happen. If things that happen to our family happen to others it is funny or sad but if it happens to us it is fodder for jokes and jabs at us.
Yes, I hear it all. I can.not.say.anything.about.anything without someone telling me that I shouldn't say that or how could you say that. Or making fun of us for it. It is really quite amazing.
So I quit blogging altogether. I hate that because I love blogging about what is happening in our family and use it as a scrapbook of sorts (since I am inept at real scrapbooking!) I print the books off at the end of the year and keep it as a history of our family.
But this year I let others dictate to me what I can and can not blog about. No longer. I am pretty fed up with people thinking that every stinking think I post is about them or any particular situation is something they know about and not just ramblings from a tired momma. Yes, there are things going on in our lives that I wish weren't and yes they involve people we know in real life but I haven't and won't post names or call people out. I will post my frustrations and hurts over situations on MY blog and if that offends some, so be it. I am not blogging to please others. I am blogging as an outlet for me and a record for OUR family.
Cranky? Yup, you're right. I am. I am tired of people that lie to your face and then turn around and stab you in the back and I am tired of people telling me that I have no right to say things on MY blog about MY family. I am tired of people pretending to be friends and I am tired about worrying over every little thing I say all the stinkin' time.
I am going to try and catch up this next week with back posts so I have a record of our lives. It won't be pretty but at least I'll get it done!
Sorry for the rant but sometimes it just needs said, ya know?