Sunday, April 2, 2017
Sometimes in the busyness of life you lose sight of anything and everything. The focus shifts to the 'have-to's' and 'right now's' and the 'just need to breathe's' get pushed by the wayside. It is almost impossible to stay the course and not let it rule you. I know this about myself and yet I can's seem to change it. I see it coming and it still happens.
Here is where I am. I am there-too busy and letting the calendar dictate what I focus on. I hate that. I need some down time and time to just be alone. Time to be quiet. Not time to nap, per se, but time to sit and be relaxed and still.
With my schedule, that doesn't happen very often if at all.
I work Monday-Thursday 8:45-11:30 am. Then I come home and try and answer any questions for school I can. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons we have soccer training from 2-4. Then I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday evenings from 4:45-8:30 pm-when we don't have soccer games. Wednesday is date night but that only lasts until 8:15 when we have to pick up the first kid from small groups, the last being picked up at 9pm. Friday nights we can have soccer games, kids working, church activities, checking the AYSO fields, etc. taking up the evenings. Saturdays we have to be at the AYSO fields since we are on the board and then any number of activities from any of the kids after we have spent several hours walking around. Sundays are church, board meetings, small group, kids activities, shopping, getting ready for the week...
Do you see what I mean? I haven't gone grocery shopping in ages because-when? I am at a loss as to when to do many things that are important but just not the 'have-to' right now that something else is.
One thing that gets pushed aside regularly is time for me to just sit with no obligations or constraints. It simply doesn't happen. I know it is becoming a problem when my moods are continually sour and I can't seem to snap out of my bad mood. That is when I need to stop and pull-back a little.
I am there today. I woke up knowing that I was headed for a melt down if I didn't stop today. My choices were go to church and do all that entails or stay home, do my Bible study and breathe. I chose to stay home.
Steven wasn't happy about it-he doesn't really get the whole thing but here I am. I have finished my Bible study, spent a little time being still, and now I can focus on what else needs done today. I will make my lists so I don't forget something and start marching to the calendar's beat again.
If you need me, check my calendar to see where I am next!