Since I have had Bronchitis and Mono, I have been pretty much in bed or home-bound for the last three to four weeks. I have been sleeping most days. It has been a challenge to get school done. That's probably putting it mildly, but we are working on it. We are doing enough, for now. I am itching to get back to our normal schedule and normal life. But it is happening much more slowly than I care for. If I do too much, I end up in bed for most of the next day trying to recover. I'm not good with pacing myself!
This extended illness has been good for a few things, however. One is that my girls are learning to help around the house more and to seek out ways to help before they are asked. It is not an easy lesson and it is slow going, but they are growing in this area.
Another area of growth has been for all of us, but me especially. When I got sick my good friend, Amy, scheduled friends to bring me meals. Honestly, it was a situation that I was uncomfortable with. Not because I was afraid of the food that people would bring; but because of the attention it would draw. I don't like being the center of this kind of attention. It is hard for me to admit that I have needs and then to let someone else fill or provide for them.
I don't have any problems jumping in to help someone else and actually enjoy it quite a bit. It is an honor and a blessing.
When it comes to me and my needs, it feels like a burden that is unfair to share with others. It feels like too much to ask for others to help or help carry the burden with me. It also is humbling.
I don't consider myself that prideful. That is until something like this happens. When Amy emailed me with the schedule of meals, pride reared its ugly head and embarrassment washed over me. I was embarrassed that all these people were bringing us food and embarrassed that I couldn't take care of my family on my own. Pride.
I swallowed my pride and after the first couple of ladies brought food, an interesting conversation occurred with the girls.
One of them asked why all these people were bringing us food. They said that it was embarrassing. That stopped me in my tracks. Had the way I had been acting been that evident that they were picking up on it? Of course it was! I had some backtracking to do and also some humble explanations to lay out.
God was working on my heart to show me that this was exactly how The Body was supposed to work. I was willing to work in this way for others but was unwilling to let others bless me in that way. Why?
Because of pride.
Ugh.
I am thankful for this lesson from a loving Father. It has been sweet to watch the faces of the ladies blessing our family and sweet to watch the girls accept these blessings with quiet and humble hearts. These amazing ladies have blessed me and my family beyond what words can describe.
What a beautiful thing to be a part of The Body.
3 comments:
God taught me so many lessons when I was blessed with three meals a week for four weeks in Sept/Oct, at a time when my pregnancy sickness had me unable to do any cooking. I, too, was humiliated, knowing how many women must be thinking "Being pregnant isn't that bad." But it was that bad for me. At any rate, just as I began to feel better, you were getting sick. Of course, after my own lessons about being in the Body, I knew just what to do for you. Glory to God that we both were able to learn what it means to be cared for by the body of Christ, in the spirit of Acts 2.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
~Amy
we have studied trials many times in Sunday School. But, I found this in a mag. and it says it soooo well.
A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
Love m
It is hard to admit we need help.
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